She's here!

Whitney Marie Roschak arrived on May 23rd @ 8:24 AM. She was 7 lbs 11oz and 21 inches long. We are so in love. Going from one child to two is pretty crazy. All the fear you have before they arrive disappears and you realize just how much love you can have for your children, all of them. It is truly a feeling like none other. So... here's the birth story.

Wednesday, May 22nd, Hubster went to work and they sent him home. He works as a UPS driver and they were having to keep an extra guy on hand just incase he got the call and had to meet me at the hospital. It was nice to have him home since I was exhausted all the time. We had a nice day at the park and the play place. We got some shopping done and spent the day with us three together. (So thankful for a good day together that day!) 

I had been having contractions all week, so the fact that I had been having them all day didn't make me any more excited. Around 8 PM or so I noticed that the contractions were getting pretty regular, about 4- 6 minutes apart. They weren't at all painful though, just a bit uncomfortable. By 10, they were getting stronger but no closer. 

I called my mom around midnight and asked her to come up just in case they decided to get worse or closer. I thought it would be easier just to have her here instead of waking Dillan and such. She lives about 25 minutes from my house. She didn't end up getting here until almost 1:30 AM. By that time, I couldn't barely walk or even breathe through the contractions, but they weren't really any closer. 

Hubster and I left for the hospital and the ride down ( about 25 minutes) was brutal. They were coming every 3 minutes and they were getting very painful. 

We got to the hospital around 2 and we were in triage soon thereafter. When I was in labor with Dillan, I was having good contractions that sent us to the hospital and upon arrival I was only at 1.5 cm. I was praying that the contractions were doing something and I wasn't facing another 36 hour labor. The doctor checked me and I was at 6 cm! Woohoo! 

We were admitted, moved to a delivery room and settled in around 3 AM. At that point, I was shaking through contractions that were lasting well over a minute and opted to get an epidural. With Dillan, my epidural did not work at all. With Whitney, my epidural was textbook perfect! 

She was still very high up and not really dropping on her own so I spent a couple hours flipping every which way in the bed to get her moving down ans out. I began to feel pain again at around 8 AM so they came in and checked to see what type of progress I was making. Surprise, surprise, it was time to push. 

25 minutes of pushing and she was here! She was having some heart decels while pushing and it got a little hairy there for a second, but she came out perfect as ever. It took about 15 minutes for her to let out a good cry, but she has made up for it since then. It was the longest 15 minutes ever as I waited for the NICU team to heck her out. She had  knot in her cord which is what caused all the decels. 

Get out, Get Out, GET OUT!!!

No, but seriously, I am so done with being pregnant. I am done feeling huge. I am done being an emotional nutbag. I am done snapping at poor Dillan because my patience are spent. I am done with my vagina constantly feeling like it is being ripped apart. I am done feeling like I have to use the bathroom at all times. I. Am. Done.

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Day 22... early :)

So, today is May 21st (obviously), but I am hoping and praying that these contractions pick up and I won't be home tomorrow to blog. I was thinking about ranting about something going on lately anyhow, so why not take advantage of the blog post for tomorrow!

Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel..

I have relatively new neighbors that drive me crazy! Let me start by saying the family who lived in this unit last were AMAZING and are now very good friends of ours, so I may be a bit biased. With that being said, this is a family of 5. They have a 9 year old boy, a 5 year old girl, and a year old little boy. The condo is two down from ours and we share a good sized back yard. Whenever Dillan is outside, they are usually outside also. Usually, without their parents. It wouldn't be an issue if they were well-behaved or courteous, but they surely are not. 

The 9 year old is a huge bully to not only Dillan, but especially his siblings. Dillan sees this behavior and, at times, has even copied. I hate that I can't take him out of the situation without banning him from his own backyard. So, instead, I end up parenting, essentially, all of them when we spend time outside. They are constantly breaking his toys, spending time on our deck (which is a liability for us when we aren't there to watch them), and asking him to do things that they have repeatedly heard me ask him not to do. 

That last one is enraging. I have made it clear to Dillan that he can't be past certain points in the yard and that he isn't to be on the decks and bulkheads. When he tells them he isn't allowed to do these things, I have heard them say, "you're mom can't even see you." Umm, maybe whisper when trying to disobey me. And, just because their parents don't watch them, doesn't mean I am not standing right here watching my 3 year old. 

I am at such a loss as to what to do. PARENT YOUR OWN GODDAMN KIDS. I don't expect, or want, others parenting my kids and I don't want to have to do it for anyone else. Maybe they don't see anything wrong with how their kids are acting or treating others, but I highly doubt that anyone would think this behavior was acceptable. 

Day 17

A Favorite Picture of Myself and Why...

This picture is of Hubster and I at my little sister's wedding. We were actually only dating at this time, but I was 4 months into my pregnancy with Dillan and I was very happy. The picture itself isn't awesome of me, but I love looking at it because it reminds me of all that we had together and where it has taken us. 

A couple related, or sort of related, things that this post got me thinking about. First, I have approximately zero photos of me taken by someone else where I looking even partially acceptable. I know my mom and aunts always say that they are in none of the family photos because they are always behind the camera. I didn't realize how true that is. Anything that is worth capturing on "film" is usually noticed and done by me. I will have to make an effort to get into some of these photos so my kids, and someday grandkids (eek!), will remember that I actually did participate in their lives. 

And the second thing that this made me think about is my postpartum bod. Even from when I was younger, I don't have many pictures of myself. I was always too self-conscious or something to really pose it up. So now, when I am thinking about getting back into shape and such after the baby (eventually) gets here, there is no "I-want-to-look-like-this-again" picture. I wish I had one as inspiration, but I guess its just as well that I just get healthy and look and feel good instead of measure myself against something. Right?? 

She Will Be Here Soon...Hopefully!

I am skipping today's blog assignment because, quite frankly, I don't have time to take pictures ALL DAY LONG. And, I don't feel like it. So, I will be sharing my thoughts about pregnancy and my family at the moment... Yay! 

I am beyond ready for Little Lady to make her appearance. I am willing to try almost anything to get her out of me. BUT, I am only 38 weeks +4. (Picture at some point.) Forcing her to come out at this point is only selfish and while I don't really have an issue being selfish (especially when I feel like I do), when it comes to my kids, I feel like I have to suck it up a bit. Hubster is driving me crazy since he seems to think its okay to add days to the due date countdown. If I have 9 days left, its 2 weeks in his eyes. I don't want anyone to add even an hour to how much time I have left. I am anxious. I am scared. And, I am a loose cannon at this point so if he could just lock it up for the next however many days it takes for Little Lady to arrive, that would be fantabulous! 

I've talked about my fears of family life changing before and, even though she is almost here, my feelings haven't changed much. I am VERY anxious. More so than I ever was with Dillan. At the moment, its a little bit of fear over the baby unknowns. Will she be a "good" baby or will she be colicky as all hell? Will I feel good after the birth or is a good deal of postpartum struggle in my future? Will Hubster be as awesome with this one as he has been since day one with Dillan? Obviously, most of the things I am worried about are easily adjusted to, but it doesn't change the fact that they could be obstacles. I find it somewhat comforting that I have very little fear about the actual labor and birth. Naive? Maybe. 

Finally, there are my fears about my son. He has been my world since day 1. And, although I have given up most of the rest of my life for him and my family, Daddy has been Dillan's hero and number one guy since day 1. Now, there will be another number 1 for Mommy and Daddy and I don't know how he will handle it. My sister-in-law and my sister have infants and Dillan is so sweet and truly adores those babies. I hope that when its his sister, who lives in the home and competes for our time,  he has the same feelings. I decided that I would get a small gift for Dillan from the Little Lady. We got him a Spiderman backpack so that he could carry his own stuff with him and he doesn't have to share a bag with his sister. Silly, when I try to explain my thought process, but hopefully it will be nice. 

Dillan with his brandy-new cousin 

Day 14

So maybe this month wasn't the best for the 30 days of blogging. I just want this baby girl to get out of me and I can think of nothing else! At least the days I missed will give me ideas for future blogs... Score. 

37 weeks. I don't look huge here, but I feel it. 

Ten Things That Make You Really Happy... 

1. My son. Obviously. He is my world and the most amazing little man ever. 
2. My daughter. She isn't here yet, although I wish she was, but I already feel like she is part of this family and I can't wait to get this new chapter started. 
3. My Husband. As much as he can drive me absolutely crazy, he is one of the best things to happen to me. 
4. Adult Beverages. This makes me sound like a lush, and that may be true. But, seriously, I love nothing more than to sit down after a long day and have a nice drink, usually a beer. 
5. My best girlfriends. Each one of us has chosen a very different path in life and yet we are all still very close and ultra-supportive of each other. These five girls will be part of my life forever and I am so grateful for them. 
6. Camping. I love camping. It has to be one of the most relaxing things to do in this world. I even like the whole ordeal of set up and clean up, it makes the middle part that much more perfect. 
7.  My family. More specifically, my siblings and their kids. I love, love, love watching as we all learn this parenting thing together. Seeing Dillan with his cousins warms my heart. 
8. When Plans Go Smoothly. I know this seems like a no-brainer, but I get so frustrated that NOTHING ever goes smoothly and as planned and we are always scrambling that when something just falls into place, IT IS AMAZING! 
9. Trash TV. This seems pretty lame compared to the others on the list, but I love to sit (with an adult beverage, of course) and get completely engulfed by someone else's rich, sleezy, supernatural, or just plain boring life.
10. The Idea of Getting In Shape. That's right, just the idea. Naturally, I would like to say that getting in shape makes me really happy, and hopefully, soon I will be able to say that. But, for now, I love the idea of getting my butt back out there and feeling like I am working hard towards some results that I can see. ** Not seeing those results, though, makes me very unhappy so this is fine line. 

Day 7

The things your most afraid of... 

Heights. Hands down, my most irrational fear is heights. It is completely debilitating and I hate it, but I can't seem to overcome this phobia. I like to think that it wouldn't stop me from doing things that are amazing, once in a lifetime type experiences, but I am pretty sure I would freak the crap out and miss out on some great stuff because it was happening too high off the ground. 

Losing the people I love. This was never something that got me until more recently. A few years ago, the man I was with at the time, lost his mother to Ovarian Cancer. Even then, the enormity of losing a very close loved one was not something I feared. It wasn't until my parents divorce that I started to really fear losing my loved ones. I think I hadn't realized how much I loved what we all had and now that its changed, it just isn't the same. BUT, I still get to see everyone here and there and I am so thankful for that. I can't imagine not having one of them here with us. 

Ruining my children. There are plenty of people out there that have been permanently damaged because of something that happened in their childhoods, usually caused by their parents. I hope I can look back and say I raised strong, loving people and I didn't do anything that will hinder them in life. Hmm.... 

Day 6 and Mini Update

So its been crazy this month. Naturally, because I decided to do this crazy bloggy thing. I will still be doing it, but I'm not gonna go nuts. If I can get to it that day, good for me :) 

My sister had the most adorable little born on Saturday. Friday was a long day as they couldn't find the heartbeat at the doctor's office and the next stop was Labor and Delivery. Whelp, they found it, but they also kept her and induced. He is just precious and mama is doing well too so it ended much better than it started. Now, I am beyond ready for little lady to make her appearance! 

Mr. Lucas

So today's assignment.... If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question 'what do you do'?

Honestly, I don't think I could answer that question without including what I do. I am a wife and a mother. My entire life is what I do. I know that most people are all consumed by their jobs and it is hard to separate themselves from that defining them, but everything I do has a tie back to being one of those two things. Because my husband works such long hours, my "work week" is spent doing mostly everything that is house or family related to keep us running. I suppose if I had to add something that wasn't related to family I would say that I do way too much following of trash TV :0)

Day 3

Ok, so I did Day 1 and totally didn't realize that it was already May 2. I blame this on the fact that I am STILL carrying a child inside me and can think of nothing else! Whelp, I have a busy morning so I will come back to catch up on Day 2. But, for now, here is Day 3.

Things That Make You Uncomfortable

1. Death. I've always been very awkward when it comes to death. Attending funerals and wakes, turn me into a completely inappropriate mess of jokes and sweat. I don't know why I am SOOO uncomfortable, but I don't think this will ever pass, no matter how old I get. I figure if I am discussing death with you, and especially attending your services, you know me well enough to know I mean no disrespect, I am just a total dink that can't get it together. 

2. Meeting New Parents. Dillan has recently hit an age where he likes to find kids where ever we go and engage them as his new best friends. This usually results in me having to either sit awkwardly silent  and uncomfortably close to their parents, or strike up a surface conversation with this new addition to my day. Either way, its uncomfortable and I don't enjoy it. It makes me want to go home from the park and have a nice cold beer. 

I mean, c'mon, how could this ever be awkward around new people???

3. My family. My parents recently divorced ( 2 years ago) and getting our whole family together is beyond uncomfortable. And, the fact that I start to think about how uncomfortable it makes me, makes me even more uncomfortable. We used to all be very close and spending time together was the highlight of my days and nights out, but that has changed drastically. 

Day 1: Story of My Life in 250 Words

I was born in Kingsville, TX and moved to Massachusetts as a young child. When I was born, my family consisted of my parents, an adopted brother, a half sister and a half brother. I was the first of my mom's biologically. After me, came three more kids... a sister and two brothers. In MA, we eventually made our way to a small town outside of Worcester. This is where I grew up and what I know as home. Although recently, my parents divorced and it makes it painful to go back. 

As a kid, I was motivated, ambitious, and a total bitch. I was very athletic and involved. After high school, I went to a private college for two years. This was the biggest financial mistake of my life and I will be paying for it until I die. I eventually transferred to a state college where I finished up a degree in Business Administration while working full time.

During my last semester in college, I met a gorgeous man at the bar where I worked. Romantic meeting? Check. We hit it off pretty quickly and before even hitting the year mark, we had a surprise pregnancy. Needless to say, this changed both of our lives and turned me into who I am today. The crazy, self-analytical stay at home mom of a three year old who finally married the man of her dreams/ guy who drives me nuts last year. We are currently expecting our second and last baby, a little lady. 

Bloggers Assignment

I can't think of what to write these days because my mind is in total "get this baby out of me" mode. So, I came across a blogger's assignment type thing and figured what the hell. So here goes.... 

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)
Day 2, Thursday: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)
Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable
Day 4, Saturday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it
Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member
Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?
Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)
Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 
Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less
Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)
Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.
Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy
Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)
Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it
Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why
Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.
Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them
Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.
Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives
Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)
Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you
Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits
Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)
Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.
Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers
Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures
Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post
Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

Day 31, Friday: A vivid memoryA vivid memory